Been awhile since I just had a personal post. Been super busy, and I have lots to explain and tell, as many of you who follow the blog know (Wink)
Mostly I’m writing this post because of a random thought that came to me this morning at 4am. I felt a heavy need to speak on what I’ve learned about fear in this past year, and hopefully something in this rant will relate to you:)
Fear in many ways is the opposite of Love, sometimes in our walk it can even distort love itself, turning it into something else entirely. Fear of losing, fear of failing, fear of being alone. I have a fear of Phones, hate the little suckers. Thats trivial, but still, fear. Fear can also be a good motivator, if seen for what it really is, nothing pushes me harder than the fear of not doing what I was created to, but in that same moment a great danger lies. I realized about a year ago that I had become friends with my fear, he was a companion I’d walked with so long, been through so much with, and in a twisted since he had given me my name, part of my identity. You see, I wasn’t living to be what I was created to be, I was in the process of crafting myself into what I thought I should be. I wasn’t listening to the creator, at least not most of the time, and I most of all was not free. Fear had chained Himself to me, all the while assuring me that it was for the best. Freedom was a strange concept, something I could see on paper, but shamefully had never experienced myself. It didn’t seem all bad, fear was reliable, always there to talk, and justify my choices. Its one of those moments in life when you’ve already decided what you want to do, so the next step is finding someone who agrees. Its not hard, someone always turns up, and misery loves company. The worst part is even sometimes when we talk about “Conquering our Fears” we are still sitting in the room with him, sipping our tea and not really moving forward, we love seeing others do it, move beyond it, “Take charge!” but all the while we sit, comfortable with a familiar friend. Second guessing our choices into oblivion. Stop it, get up, walk out, and get over it. You know what you are called to do, same as everyone else. Walk. Keep walking, don’t stop.
As Christians we are called to be fearless, to walk boldly into a throne room that is now Home. Jesus didn’t just die to save us from sin, but more so to put us back where we always should have been, as Children of God. As a Son of the Most High, I see no reason why I should ever be fearful. A good friend reminded me of a quote ”Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.” – Charles H. Spurgeon. I am only who I am because of God, and the only fear I should ever have is being on the wrong side of His wrath.
Needless to say, Fear and I are on a break, probably for good, we see less and less of each other each day, and I’m finding I just don’t have the time or patience anymore to deal with Him.
We all walk through the Valley, just make sure you don’t set up camp there.
No picture today, just a song that inspired this thought, buy this album, is thats all this post does then it was successful :)
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